TheBongPlace: The Marijuana Blog

With a lung capacity that helped him set seven world records in the 2008 Olympics, Michael Phelps had to have been higher than anyone at that party.

Phelps probably sucked the whole bowl down in one hit and held it in for a full minute. Maybe that’s why someone felt compelled to sell the photo: When a multimillionaire burns through half your stash in one bong-load, maybe you feel a bit taken advantage of.

The difference is that Phelps sobered up afterward. But his fellow party-goer must have still been high when he or she sold the photo of the 16 medal winning Olympic champion to The News of the World for what’s rumored to have been $5,000 without demanding syndication rights.

To be fair, he or she may not have known that the story would become the sensation that it has. How could smoking pot be such a big deal? In the United States, our last three presidents have admitted to drug use. Time estimates that 42% of Americans have smoked pot. I don’t know who the other 58% are.

It’s no wonder with sites like Celebrity Skin, a site that sells the fecal matter of the stars, reports that the owner of the bong tried to sell it on e-Bay for $100,000. Maybe this is the same person who sold the photo, realizing their folly and trying to make a final effort at fortune.

Now, eight people (the bong owner among them) have been arrested. The talking heads are going nuts, stumbling over each other to seem more scandalized with every bit of “news” they manufacture and release.

Only in America could this happen. Here are six reasons why:

It started in England.

The Brits know a scandal when they see one. The News of the World publishes a couple of paragraphs about Michael Phelps smoking weed and we just run with it.

Banners run on the bottom of the screen on CNN and MSNBC, saying things like, “Sheriff investigates whether Michael Phelps smoked pot,” and “8 people arrested in connection with SC party Michael Phelps attended.”

No wonder no one takes Americans seriously.

Our news outlets cover an incident of marijuana smoking with nearly the same fervor that they do mass murders on college campuses. Don’t believe me? Check out this “Breaking News.”

Those Brits sure know how to sell us back to ourselves. It may be a sort of revenge for overtaking their colonies, but they know us. Now listen as the slot machine pays out heavy to The News of the World for those photo rights.

We prefer fake to real.

Boobs, lips, flavoring, wood paneling, flowers, Viagra, Astroturf, top 40 music, bleach blondes, Christmas trees, fingernails, Velveeta, fur: fake, fake, fake. Better than the real thing– just like our news.

Sure, there’s the issue of the economy. Sure, wildfires are raging out of control in Australia. Sure, bombs are killing people in Baghdad and cholera is affecting thousands in Zimbabwe.

But MICHAEL PHELPS SMOKED WEED! AND SOMEONE TRIED TO SELL THE BONG!

We love to tear down the hero.

Nothing’s better than someone we admire screwing up and getting their ass handed to them: Eliot Spitzer, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Tonya Harding, Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Larry Craig, Britney Spears again.

Not everyone admired any of these people, but significantly fewer did after the “news” about them broke.

In the United States, there’s nothing better than seeing someone successful screw up. It’s gratifying to people to see that rich, successful people do stupid things. Bring that celeb down to life size and you’re guaranteed to sell advertising time on your network.

We don’t really care about the corporate stranglehold on our culture.

Visa and Kellogg and Speedo and Mazda all get press. Kellogg gets the most because they are willing to condemn Phelps’ dastardly marijuana smoking ways.

Phelps loses one million dollars and Kellogg gets its name on the news several times a day. Free advertising for them and a small loss for Phelps (all things considered).

Now people can debate whether Kellogg is wrong or right and another news item is born. There’s a movement afoot to boycott Kellogg over its unethical treatment of our American treasure.

Meanwhile, Kellogg gets to come out smelling “gr-e-a-at!”.

We pretend to care about drugs being illegal.

If Phelps had been using TGH or some other designer steroid that could make the viewing public feel ripped off for believing in him, perhaps there would be some actual scandal to this “scandal.”

By all accounts, pot is a performance decreasing drug rather than the reverse. Despite Time’s claim that 48% of Americans have tried pot, it’s really more surprising to meet someone who has never smoked pot.

Why do we pretend to care?

Maybe the only thing stopping every marijuana advocate and midnight toker out there from using this “incident” to claim pot is more beneficial than as a nausea cure is that Phelps could not have been using any drugs at all during his victory sweep. He was regularly tested for all drugs throughout any competitive season.

We like to pretend that we care about illegal drug use.

We don’t really… or we would not have elected our last three presidents.

Profit, baby.

They’re selling it and we’re buying it.

People have the luxury of being morally outraged regardless of what side they’re on in this non-issue. Phelps is just a young guy and deserves to have a little fun. He’s setting a poor example. Whoever sold that picture deserves to be tortured.

We’re celebrity obsessed and when headlines that would once have been relegated to The Enquirer are running on cable news networks, we watch and they profit. For the CNNs of this world, this is great. No foreign correspondent has to be flown to far off lands and risk life and limb to cover real news.

These networks now know they can participate in lazy tabloid style coverage and sell more advertising than they would if they were covering real news that required research or reporting.

Pure profit.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What do you think about the Phelps “scandal”? Is it uniquely American? Why? Why not? Share your opinions below!

Article via Matador Pulse

This is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history.

In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.

The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis.

And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.

Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed from the bong during two days of partying with students last November, a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party.

He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.

“He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal.
Obnoxious

“He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go.

“Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

As he basked in his hero status, Phelps knocked back beers and shots of spirits. And when a student offered him the glass bong engraved with red writing, he did not hesitate, says our source.

The 6ft 4ins athlete, in a white T-shirt and navy cap worn back to front, clasped the device in his huge hands and inhaled deeply.

Our source said: “You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do.

“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”

But the next night, Phelps was out partying again. The source added: “He was right back at it at Pavlov’s bar.

“Like the night before he was holding court, throwing back shots two at a time and pouring drinks to every cute girl.”

Drink has got Phelps into trouble before. In 2004, aged 19, he got 18 months probation for driving while under the influence.

His wild behaviour is in stark contrast to the grim regime which took him to the top of his sport.

He once described his life, saying: “All you do is eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim.”

Last night Phelps’ management team and the sporting world closed ranks over the scandal.
Taint

The US Olympics Committee, who have pledged to clamp down on drug use, refused to comment, as did USA Swimming and Phelps’ coach Bob Bowman.

More surprising still was the World Anti-Doping Agency’s refusal to comment, given that they introduced the four-year ban on sport’s drug users.

Phelps, who earned £4million last year in endorsements, has resumed training for the 2012 games.

But there were fears about his commitment when, weeks after the bong incident, he began dating former stripper Caroline Pal.

Phelps is represented by marketing giant Octagon, which works with huge brands such as Mastercard and HSBC. They admitted proven cannabis use would be “a major taint” on Phelps’ character.

Spokesman Clifford Bloxham offered us an extraordinary deal not to publish our story, saying Phelps would become our columnist for three years, host events and get his sponsors to advertise with us.

In return, he asked that we kill Phelps’ bong picture. Bloxham said: “It’s seeing if something potentially very negative for Michael could turn into something very positive for the News of the World.”

He stressed that the swimmer had taken 1,500 drug tests and never failed one.

Until now?

Author: Georgina Dickinson

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