TheBongPlace: The Marijuana Blog

When ZUG recently asked me to be a student intern for the summer, I asked all the usual questions. Was it a paid internship? (No.) Would I get course credit? (No.) Could I list it on a resume? (Probably not.)

But when they told me they needed a “Student Stoner Intern” to review the high-tech smoking device called the Volcano Vaporizer, I jumped at the chance. If you haven’t heard of the Volcano, this is a state-of-the-art, precision-engineered German smoking machine. It normally costs $539, which is about $519 more than I paid for my last bong. In exchange for a few articles, I’d get to try it for free.

But there was a catch: since this is a comedy site, I would have to smoke weird foreign substances through the Volcano. No problem. Like everyone, I tried smoking catnip in high school. I also smoked a page from a Victoria’s Secret catalog, on a bet. Once, when I ran out of rolling papers, I even smoked burning toilet paper. I have more foreign substances in my lungs than a traffic cop in downtown Bangalore.

As an English major at Harvard, this assignment gave me the chance to combine the two things I like doing most: writing, and getting mind-numbingly high.

The Volcano Vaporizer arrived at my Cambridge apartment, packed discreetly in this cardboard box. The vaporizer itself is legal to own, so I wasn’t worried about holding it at my place. Besides, when I opened it, I was blown away (so to speak) by the sheer beauty of the device. German-engineered by Storz & Bickel, who I think also were Hitler’s law firm, this is a high-tech appliance that would be at home between your Sub-Zero fridge and Viking range. You could leave it in the kitchen and tell everyone it was a blender. Which, in a sense, it is.

I needed someone to help take pictures, so I enlisted the help of a relative we’ll just call “Creepy Uncle Rick.” Rick is, let’s say, an arborist. He brought over some rare specimens of his work, as well as a 5-pound box of Cheez-Its.

Opening the Volcano box, we found that some assembly was required. There are over a dozen pieces that need to be put together, so this part is best done sober. It was a little like putting together a bong from Ikea.

After a few minutes, our Volcano Vaporizer was ready to go. “This thing looks like Sputnik,” Creepy Uncle Rick observed.

“Get ready to go to outer space,” I said, plugging it in.

How to use the Volcano Vaporizer:

* Plug in the device. A red light turns on, indicating the heating coil is warming up.

* Grind your plant material using the high-quality German herb grinder that is included. (The grinder alone is worth the purchase price.)

* Fill the chamber with a small scoop of material and place on base unit.

* Fit the large plastic bag onto the chamber, which clicks in place.

* The Volcano heats the material to a temperature just shy of burning. This vaporizes the active ingredients out of the material, like cooking onions on a stove.

* Now press the green button, and a small fan blows the vapors into the bag, which inflates like a balloon, or possibly a giant inflatable penis.

* When the bag is full, remove it and snap on the mouthpiece.

* Push the mouthpiece to your lips to unlock the sweet, heavenly vapors.

We found that a little material went a long way: one “scoop” was enough for several balloonfuls. Though, to be honest, we kind of lost count after the third.

What amazed me, besides the fantastically detailed ridges on the side of my Cheez-It, which I ended up writing a poem about, was the way the mouthpiece was engineered. Vapors stay in the bag until you press it to your lips. You’ve got to experience this to appreciate how amazing it is. You’d think the vapors would dissipate after a few minutes, but those crafty Germans have figured out how to store it.

he instructions say you should use the vapors within five minutes, but we found that the vapors stayed active for, well, I don’t know how long. It could have been an hour, or it could have been five years. I had a watch, but it went all Salvador Dali whenever I looked at it.

I looked over and saw he was laughing at a Robot Chicken clip on YouTube, not my brilliant wordplay. Undaunted, I continued taking notes.

SS: How would you rate the smoothness of the Volcano, on a scale of 1 to 10?
CUR: Are you kidding? It couldn’t be smoother, or it would be like inhaling milk.
SS: Right? It would be like sitting in a sauna, with someone ladling half and half on the hot coals.
CUR: Smoother.
SS: [cracking up] Smoother still?
CUR: Yes. It is not smoke, it is pure heavy cream.

Needless to say, our first 14 impressions of the Volcano Vaporizer were extremely favorable. This was an ultramodern appliance featuring cutting-edge toke-nology. If these guys made a food processor, or coffeemaker, I’d buy it. I actually suggested to ZUG they sell a combo called the “Coffee-Pot”:

Unfortunately, we were about to ruin our smoking experience by testing out the Volcano on a variety of awful substances. Stay tuned for the results.

Sir Smokealot, the ZUG student stoner intern, is a second-year English major at Harvard University.

I bought cocaine, heroin, crack, weed, and ecstasy and had them forensically analyzed by a chemist at MIT because I thought they would all turn out to be poison. Guess what? Drug dealers don’t cut drugs with cement and ground glass. They barely even cut drugs at all, because they don’t need to. Relax, I’ll explain later.

The samples were analyzed by a PhD chemist at MIT (we can’t say his name or he’ll get fired) using acid/base extraction, proton nuclear magnetic resonance, and thin-layer chromatography. Acid-base extraction is the method used to isolate the chemicals. Once they’re isolated, the nuclear magnetic resonance machine is what you use to analyze and identify stuff. Basically, the kind of NMR done here tells you about the hydrogen atoms in the molecules in the drugs. So it’s like, the spectrum of heroin has 20 lines in it, all at different positions and heights, and you basically look for that particular set of lines. If you see another set of lines, you go, “Oops, there’s something else besides heroin in here.” Finally, thin-layer chromatography is a quick method that tells you how many components there are in a mixture. MIT guy says it’s “like that experiment you did when you were a kid (if you were a geek) where you put ink on a paper towel and, when the water diffused up the paper towel, all the colors separated.” It tells you how many components are in a mixture but not what they are. That’s what the NMR is for. Still confused? Show this to a smart guy and have him explain it more.

COCAINE
The cocaine was the first sample to come back from the lab. It was 98 percent pure. When everyone was done high-fiving, we started to wonder what was going on. According to the movies and NYPD Blue, you can only get cocaine like that from pharmacies. Street cocaine is basically poison, right? It’s all strychnine and gasoline and nail polish remover or something.

I was not going to go buy 50 more samples of coke, because that would be a waste of money and drugs, but there’s this guy named Peter Cohen who did his thesis on just that. Actually, his work is even better than that, because he not only analyzed 50 samples of cocaine, he also interviewed the 50 cokeheads who had bought the samples. So he got the perception and the reality, see. He asked the cokeheads whether they thought their coke was pure, and 80 percent of them said no. Of those, 75 percent thought their stuff was adulterated with speed. They also commonly figured their drugs were diluted with ground glass, Drano, laxatives, and dirt. Cohen took samples from these cokeheads to the lab. The average purity was 65.1 percent. Second of all, the coke samples Cohen had were cut with speed, Daro, vitamin C, caffeine, sugar, nicotinamide, lidocaine, mannitol, and sodium bicarbonate. Daro is an anti-headache powder. Nicotinamide is vitamin B. Lidocaine is a topical anaesthetic. Mannitol is the sugar they put in diabetic candy. Sodium bicarbonate is baking soda. These are all innocuous things that bulk the drug out— most evidence of dangerous cutting agents is anecdotal. There’s no glass in your coke, you fucking psycho.

I guess that doesn’t mean that drugs are never cut with poison. The Drug Prevention Network of the Americas reports on a gang in Dublin that cuts coke with Phenacetin, a carcinogen that causes cancerous tumors in urinary tracts and nasal passages. Of male rats. There are a hundred million stories like that, and they get picked up eagerly by anti-drug sites, druggies, and editors who want sensational copy because that is the world we live in.

Findings: Most coke is way over 60 percent pure, and our coke is especially good. Thank you, Rico.

HEROIN
Our sample was 60 percent heroin, 20 percent acetaminophen, 10 percent caffeine, and 10 percent unidentifiable chemicals. Even though that sounds like a lot of additives, it’s about right. New York heroin is 63.3 percent pure on average. Oh, forget the whole idea about heroin being cut with Drano. Heroin is most often cut with acetaminophen, caffeine, malitol, diazepam, methaqualone, or phenobarbital. Diazepam is a sedative hypnotic. Methaqualone is Quaaludes. Phenobarbital is a sedative used to stop seizures and treat insomnia. See, they just cut it with stuff that makes you sleepy but doesn’t cost as much or cause as much hassle to get as dope. That’s all. If you want some better shit, move to that shithole London. Ross Coomber of the University of Greenwich, London, analyzed 228 samples of heroin and found that 44 percent of them weren’t cut with anything at all. The rest were cut with the same stuff as above. Coomber did another study where he gathered information from 17 heroin dealers at varying points in the chain of distribution. He asked them if they adulterated (that is the word for adding other drugs to) or diluted (that is the word for adding inert substances to) the drugs they sold. Eleven said that they never adulterated/diluted at all, four adulterated/diluted only sometimes, and only one (dealing four to five ounces a month) said he always diluted the heroin (with glucose, by around 10 to 20 percent). Asshole.

Findings: Heroin is a little more cut than coke, but ours is average. And dealers don’t want to poison their customers. It’s bad business, and if you’re dead you can’t buy any more smack from them. The most important finding to us in this section was this great new dealer who got us a bundle of smack, delivered to our door in 20 minutes in the middle of the workday. Too bad we’re in recovery.

CRACK
Our crack, purchased from some human garbage in Bushwick, was about 95 percent pure, and the impurities were likely by-products of the synthesis, not contaminants. That means they weren’t added after the crack became crack. Rather, they were a part of how the crack came to be. Crack is actually one of the purest drugs you can buy, usually about 85 to 95 percent, because it gets washed with solvent before or after heating. Just because of the way it’s made (by “freebasing” it—or removing the active chemicals from cocaine from their base), you can get high-purity crack from only moderately pure coke.

Findings: Crack is a good bet. If you think your coke guy is stomping on your shit at all, cook it up and you’ll take out all the dirt.

WEED
So according to an article published in the New York Times in April 2004, “Law enforcement officials said they are also seeing more examples of marijuana laced with other drugs, like cocaine, a narcotic; LSD, a hallucinogen; and PCP, a hallucinogen also known as angel dust.” Our sample didn’t have coke or heroin or PCP or anything in it. It was just normal. Sucks.

Now read that New York Times quote again. “Law enforcement officials”? I like cops and I trust them to protect me from getting raped. Journalists are liars though. Why would police give quotes about drugs and not give their names? Is this a top-secret thing that the “law enforcement officials” are afraid to go on record about? Seriously, there are a million alarmist accounts of PCP-dipped weed being sold as regular weed (just google it), but not one systematic analysis to back up the claim. Just look at the slang terms for weed laced with other drugs and the whole thing starts to seem like a priest dreamed it up: “Boat, Loveboat, Chips, Donk, Lovelies, Love Leaf, Woolies, Zoom, Boat, Caviar, Champagne, Cocoa Puff, Gremmies.” What? Reporters are pussies that barely know what drugs are so if they talk about the pervasiveness of embalming-fluid-dipped pot you’re not going to ever find any evidence of them actually finding some. Hence quotes like, “Finding embalming fluid to buy on the street is not easy because most street drug dealers make more money selling individual joints soaked with embalming fluid for about $10 to $20. However, if found on the street to purchase, a two-ounce sample of embalming fluid costs about $50.” Oh really?

Findings: PCP-soaked marijuana that is sold as PCP-soaked marijuana doesn’t actually have PCP in it most of the time. There is no evidence at all I can find that marijuana sold as marijuana is soaked in PCP. However, if you want to deck your weed out, sprinkle some coke on it. It’s called a snowcap and it gets you laced.

ECSTASY
Our sample was pure MDMA. Once again, that’s because we have good dealers. We all know that E is often cut with dope, because we’ve all seen those little brown freckles in pills that we’ve taken. That’s heroin, stupid. So while E can be dirty, it is not as dirty as a 1993 Time Out magazine article, “Bitter Pills,” made it out to be. In that article, it was reported that E dealers spike tablets and capsules with heroin, LSD, rat poison, and crushed glass. That story was repeated all over. Stephen Beard of the Newham Drugs Advice Project was the source for all this, and he said he got his info from a single dealer. This single supposed dealer said he made fake ecstasy by crushing light bulbs. The word for that is “hearsay.” There was no supporting evidence such as lab tests or reports from doctors who had treated users. Oh, but again, it does happen that there is poison. In London, in 2000, there was an unmarked, half-scored, yellow-flecked tablet that was 8 mg of strychnine. The lethal dose of strychnine is 10 mg.

The verdict: It’s not hard to get good shit. Drug dealers figure, I can sit here trying to figure out how to dilute this shit or I can get it on the street and paid for as soon as possible. If my shit is too pure—great. All that means is I’ll have a reputation as Bobby PurePants and more people will want to buy from me.

ANN HIGGINS

WASHINGTON — The White House won’t say it explicitly. Neither will the Drug Enforcement Administration. Yet there is a whiff in the air that U.S. policy is about to change when it comes to medical marijuana.

The message is clear, said UCLA professor Mark Kleiman, a former Justice Department official and an expert on crime and drug policy.

“It is no longer federal policy to beat up on hippies,” said Kleiman.

Tell that to the DEA.

In California this past week, agents raided four dispensaries in Los Angeles and seized 500 pounds of pot.

“It’s a little bit surprising, because I think current DEA management didn’t get the message,” said Kleiman. “The message is, this is no longer drug warrior time. We are not on a cultural crusade against pot-smoking.”

California law permits the sale of marijuana for medical purposes, though it is still against federal law.

Thirteen states have laws permitting medicinal use of marijuana. California is unique among them for the presence of dispensaries, businesses that sell marijuana and even advertise their services. Legal under California law, such dispensaries are still illegal under federal law.
“Anyone possessing, distributing or cultivating marijuana for any reason is in violation of federal law,” Sarah Pullen, a DEA spokeswoman in Los Angeles, said Thursday.

That may be the law, but it contradicts the medical marijuana position of the new president.

“The president believes that federal resources should not be used to circumvent state laws, and as he continues to appoint senior leadership to fill out the ranks of the federal government, he expects them to review their policies with that in mind,” said White House spokesman Nick Shapiro, repeating past statements.

So on Friday, DEA officials in Washington declined to comment at all on the subject.

As a presidential candidate, Obama repeatedly promised a change in federal drug policy in situations where state laws allow use of medical marijuana.

“I think the basic concept of using medical marijuana for the same purposes and with the same controls as other drugs prescribed by doctors, I think that’s entirely appropriate,” Obama told the Mail Tribune of Medford, Ore., in March.

A year earlier at a campaign stop in New Hampshire, Obama said: “I would not have the Justice Department prosecuting and raiding medical marijuana users.”

At age 47, Obama is part of a generation that had plenty of exposure to pot.

In his memoir, “Dreams from My Father,” he described time spent as a youth struggling with questions about his race and identity, and turning to drugs _ including marijuana and cocaine _ to “push questions of who I was out of my mind.”

The new president is unlikely to make any official change in policy before he has a new DEA chief and drug czar in place.

Yet experts believe it is already clear the Obama administration will change the strategy, if not the law, on medical marijuana.

Philip Heymann, a former deputy attorney general in the Clinton administration who is now a Harvard professor, said it’s time for the agency to put more effort into fighting drugs more dangerous than marijuana.

“I do expect him to appoint an administrator who takes marijuana less seriously than is traditional for the DEA, as I think most Americans do,” said Heymann.

Heymann said he expects the Obama administration will eventually instruct the DEA to emphatically scale back raids on dispensaries, and conduct such raids only in instances where investigators believe a business is abusing the dispensary system as a cover for other criminal behavior.

So last week’s raids in California may be the last of their kind.

“The DEA’s not likely to want to confront a new president,” said Heymann. “It may simply be that they’re behaving as they have traditionally, and they haven’t anticipated the change Obama and his spokesman are signaling.”

____

Associated Press writer Michael Blood in Los Angeles contributed to this report.

It may have been expected, but that doesn’t make it right.

Late Thursday, cereal and snack manufacturer Kellogg’s announced that it will not renew its sponsorship contract with 14-time Olympic gold medal champion Michael Phelps. The company said that Phelps’ recent acknowledgment of marijuana use, and subsequent apology, was “not consistent with the image” of the company.

We disagree!

As NORML wrote earlier this week, it’s not Michael Phelps who should be castigated, but rather it’s the absurd and hypocritical laws that criminalize the behavior of Phelps and tens of millions of other successful and productive Americans like him that is worthy of condemnation.

Millions of Americans agree. In fact, in the past week dozens of high profile pundits and commentators — including Kathleen Parker in the Washington Post, Stanton Peele in the Wall Street Journal, and Doug Bandow in National Review Online — have demanded a repeal of America’s archaic and overly punitive pot laws.

Michael Phelps is in good company. Nearly one out of two Americans have admitted using marijuana. Whether or not the most decorated athlete in history chooses to unwind during his off time with a glass of wine or a bit of cannabis is really none of the government’s — or our — business.

Please take time today to contact the Kellogg Corporation. Tell them that you oppose their decision to drop Michael Phelps and that, as a result of their actions, you will not be purchasing any Kellogg’s related products for the next three months (or until the company decides to reinstate the Phelps as their spokesperson).

There are several ways you can make your opinion known to the company.

You can call Kellogg’s main telephone number during east coast business hours, Monday through Friday, at: (269) 961-2000 or toll free at: 1 (800) 962-1413.

You can e-mail Kellogg’s consumer services department by visiting: http://www2.kelloggs.com/ContactUs.aspx.

You can contact Kellogg’s media relation department at: 269-961-3799 or via e-mail at media.hotline@kellogg.com.

You can e-mail Kellogg’s corporate responsibility department at: corporateresponsibility@kellogg.com.

You can e-mail Kellogg’s investor relations department at: investor.relations@kellogg.com.

Or finally, you can write the Kellogg Company a letter at:

One Kellogg Square
P.O. Box 3599
Battle Creek, MI 49016-3599

When contacting the company, please be polite and concise. Tell them:

“Hi, my name is _____________ and I’m a frequent consumer of Kellogg’s products.

Nearly one out of two Americans has used marijuana. This includes tens of thousands of prominent, highly successful Americans — including our current President. Michael Phelps should not be stigmatized nor condemned for private behavior that he, and millions of others, engage in.

The majority of the public, as well as those in the media, are standing behind Michael Phelps and so am I. I will no longer be purchasing Kellogg’s brand products until your company reverses its decision and reinstates Michael Phelps as your spokesperson.”

Thank you for standing up against the needless discrimination of cannabis consumers.

Norml

The active ingredient in marijuana cuts tumor growth in common lung cancer in half and significantly reduces the ability of the cancer to spread, say researchers at Harvard University who tested the chemical in both lab and mouse studies.

They say this is the first set of experiments to show that the compound, Delta-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), inhibits EGF-induced growth and migration in epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) expressing non-small cell lung cancer cell lines. Lung cancers that over-express EGFR are usually highly aggressive and resistant to chemotherapy.
THC that targets cannabinoid receptors CB1 and CB2 is similar in function to endocannabinoids, which are cannabinoids that are naturally produced in the body and activate these receptors. The researchers suggest that THC or other designer agents that activate these receptors might be used in a targeted fashion to treat lung cancer.

“The beauty of this study is that we are showing that a substance of abuse, if used prudently, may offer a new road to therapy against lung cancer,” said Anju Preet, Ph.D., a researcher in the Division of Experimental Medicine.

Acting through cannabinoid receptors CB1 and CB2, endocannabinoids (as well as THC) are thought to play a role in variety of biological functions, including pain and anxiety control, and inflammation. Although a medical derivative of THC, known as Marinol, has been approved for use as an appetite stimulant for cancer patients, and a small number of U.S. states allow use of medical marijuana to treat the same side effect, few studies have shown that THC might have anti-tumor activity, Preet says. The only clinical trial testing THC as a treatment against cancer growth was a recently completed British pilot study in human glioblastoma.

In the present study, the researchers first demonstrated that two different lung cancer cell lines as well as patient lung tumor samples express CB1 and CB2, and that non-toxic doses of THC inhibited growth and spread in the cell lines. “When the cells are pretreated with THC, they have less EGFR stimulated invasion as measured by various in-vitro assays,” Preet said.

Then, for three weeks, researchers injected standard doses of THC into mice that had been implanted with human lung cancer cells, and found that tumors were reduced in size and weight by about 50 percent in treated animals compared to a control group. There was also about a 60 percent reduction in cancer lesions on the lungs in these mice as well as a significant reduction in protein markers associated with cancer progression, Preet says.

Although the researchers do not know why THC inhibits tumor growth, they say the substance could be activating molecules that arrest the cell cycle. They speculate that THC may also interfere with angiogenesis and vascularization, which promotes cancer growth.

Preet says much work is needed to clarify the pathway by which THC functions, and cautions that some animal studies have shown that THC can stimulate some cancers. “THC offers some promise, but we have a long way to go before we know what its potential is,” she said.

By Tony Newman, AlterNet
Posted on February 2, 2009, Printed on February 3, 2009
http://www.alternet.org/story/124793/

Plastered all over the Internet right now is a photo of Michael Phelps smoking marijuana out of a bong. Phelps put out a statement saying that he acted in a youthful and inappropriate way and promises it won’t happen again. Different people are weighing in on the possible impact of this photo on the gold medalist’s $100 million endorsement deals.

Here are a few of my observations on Phelps’ bong hits:

Phelps Is in Good Company

Phelps struck another blow to the myth that marijuana smokers are lazy couch potatoes. Here is the guy who has won more gold medals than anyone in history, and obviously his health and accomplishments are not hindered by smoking some pot. In addition to his swimming skills, he is a successful businessman who has turned his swimming skills into an enormous public relations platform and money generator. Successful and honorable people who have smoked some pot are all around us, from President Barack Obama to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Phelps Apology Was Unnecessary

While Phelps’ statement said he acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, he did not pretend to have a drug problem and promise to go to rehab. So many times when celebrities are caught with drugs, they give tearful statements and promise to get help. Phelps doesn’t appear to have a drug problem, and there is no reason for him to take up valuable treatment slots if he doesn’t have a drug problem.

Does it Hurt or Help His Image?

While some “experts” are predicting that Phelps bong hits could cost him millions, I could also see it humanizing him and making him even more popular with a large section of the public. Phelps’ swimming accomplishments have always been awe-inspiring, but who could relate to the guy who swam eight hours a day and had to eat 23 hamburgers every day to compensate for the calories he burns off in training? Seeing him with his hat on backwards taking a hit made me feel like I could relate to the guy more. With half of high school seniors having tried marijuana before they graduate, it is not clear that this photo is going to disillusion his fan base.

Pot Use Doesn’t Discriminate, but Our Pot Laws Do

While society has made some progress on tolerating pot consumption, there are still many laws on the books that cause more harm than the smoking of marijuana. Close to 800,000 people were arrested for marijuana last year, and the vast majority for only possessing small amounts. Harry Levine and Deborah Small put out a report last year that found that between 1998 and 2007, New York City police arrested 374,900 people for low-level, misdemeanor marijuana offenses. That is more than eight times the number of arrests on the same charges for the previous 10-year period (between 1988 and 1997), when 45,300 people were picked up for having small amounts of marijuana.

Researchers also found stark racial disparities in who NYPD officers chose to arrest for marijuana offenses. The report found that 83 percent of those charged in these cases were black or Latino, despite equal marijuana use between whites and nonwhites. The discrepancy, the researchers asserted, is because NYPD officers stopped and frisked blacks and Latinos at a dramatically higher rate.

Once someone is convicted of a drug offense, they can lose college financial aid, food stamps, public housing and, in some cases, even voting rights. Money wasted and lives ruined … and for what?

Phelps Can Continue to be a Role Model

I like Phelps and don’t think his bong hit should hurt him. If he truly wants to be a role model, he can take his comments and platform to the next level. He can say simply, “Yes, that was me smoking marijuana, and the laws that ruin peoples’ lives for using marijuana should be debated and changed.”

Tony Newman is communications director for the Drug Policy Alliance.

© 2009 Independent Media Institute. All rights reserved.
View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/124793/

This is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history.

In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.

The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis.

And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.

Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed from the bong during two days of partying with students last November, a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party.

He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.

“He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal.
Obnoxious

“He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go.

“Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

As he basked in his hero status, Phelps knocked back beers and shots of spirits. And when a student offered him the glass bong engraved with red writing, he did not hesitate, says our source.

The 6ft 4ins athlete, in a white T-shirt and navy cap worn back to front, clasped the device in his huge hands and inhaled deeply.

Our source said: “You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do.

“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”

But the next night, Phelps was out partying again. The source added: “He was right back at it at Pavlov’s bar.

“Like the night before he was holding court, throwing back shots two at a time and pouring drinks to every cute girl.”

Drink has got Phelps into trouble before. In 2004, aged 19, he got 18 months probation for driving while under the influence.

His wild behaviour is in stark contrast to the grim regime which took him to the top of his sport.

He once described his life, saying: “All you do is eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim.”

Last night Phelps’ management team and the sporting world closed ranks over the scandal.
Taint

The US Olympics Committee, who have pledged to clamp down on drug use, refused to comment, as did USA Swimming and Phelps’ coach Bob Bowman.

More surprising still was the World Anti-Doping Agency’s refusal to comment, given that they introduced the four-year ban on sport’s drug users.

Phelps, who earned £4million last year in endorsements, has resumed training for the 2012 games.

But there were fears about his commitment when, weeks after the bong incident, he began dating former stripper Caroline Pal.

Phelps is represented by marketing giant Octagon, which works with huge brands such as Mastercard and HSBC. They admitted proven cannabis use would be “a major taint” on Phelps’ character.

Spokesman Clifford Bloxham offered us an extraordinary deal not to publish our story, saying Phelps would become our columnist for three years, host events and get his sponsors to advertise with us.

In return, he asked that we kill Phelps’ bong picture. Bloxham said: “It’s seeing if something potentially very negative for Michael could turn into something very positive for the News of the World.”

He stressed that the swimmer had taken 1,500 drug tests and never failed one.

Until now?

Author: Georgina Dickinson

“Whether you are a casual smoker or you are looking to buy marijuana seeds (remember - for souvenir purposes only!), you’ll inevitably come across some weird and wacky slang terms if you spend any time around marijuana smokers.

When marijuana became part of the 1960’s counterculture, it also developed its own slang and inside jokes. This is partly for practical reasons – after all, smoking marijuana is against the law (although I hasten to add that it isn’t illegal to buy marijuana seeds!) and so smokers and growers have always used euphemisms for marijuana to stay out of trouble and avoid the authorities.

But marijuana smoking slang has also developed for less practical reasons. Marijuana smokers are a community, and every community develops its own lingo. It is a way of identifying those who are in the know, sharing jokes and just having fun. And, over time, marijuana smokers have developed a truly remarkable collection of strange and wonderful slang words to describe marijuana, the act of smoking, the effects of the drug, and much more.

There are some very comprehensive marijuana slang dictionaries out there on the web, but this is a selection of some of my personal favourite euphemisms and expressions…

Assassin of Youth, n. There are (literally) hundreds of nicknames for marijuana, but this one is perhaps the most melodramatic! It is named after a 1930’s film that was intended to warn people of the dangers of marijuana, but (predictably enough) it has become a stoner movie classic (much like “Reefer Madness.”)

“You up for some fun tonight? You, me and the Assassin of Youth?”

Bogart, v. This characterful piece of slang refers to Humphrey Bogart, who seemed to go through a number of 1950’s film noirs with a cigarette permanently attached to his lower lip. To “Bogart” a joint is to hold on to it too long before passing it on.

“Hey, pass it along. Don’t Bogart that joint!”

Boxed, n. When you’ve smoked so much marijuana that you’ve lost control of your legs (like a boxer who tries to stand after being knocked out.)

“Sorry I didn’t come and see you last night. I couldn’t move, I was boxed!”

Dutch Oven, n. What happens when you smoke marijuana for a long time in a small, poorly ventilated room, a phenomenon more commonly known as hotboxing.

“We were smoking for hours in that tiny room…it was a real Dutch Oven by the end of the night.”

Four-Twenty, n, adj, v, etc. In America, Four-Twenty is more than just a piece of slang – it is a description of a way of life! No one quite knows how it started, though it is believed to have been the time of day when a group of friends would gather and smoke after school. It has now come to mean the act of smoking marijuana, an invitation to smoke, and generally stands as an exclamation that identifies you as a marijuana smoker. A person, place or even a country can be described as “420 friendly”, indicating that marijuana smoking is encouraged or at least tolerated.

Henry, n. An eighth of marijuana, named after the famous King Henry VIII.

“Did you buy much?”

“Nah, just a Henry.”

Secret Agent, n. A Secret Agent is a joint that is cunningly rolled to look like a normal cigarette or a rollup. If you spark it up, of course, it won’t pass the smell test, but it will pass a quick visual examination.

“I walked out of my house with a joint in my hand and a cop was right there! Luckily, it was a secret agent, so he didn’t notice…”

Wizard of Oz, n. An ounce of marijuana: oz is the standard abbreviation of ounce, while the “wizard” refers to the ‘magical’ properties of the substance in question.

‘No need to pick up for a while, I just brought home the Wizard of Oz.’” - Robert Kane

There are also many other name’s that this guy was just to lazy to list.

Joint, Blunt, Bong, Dank, Chronic, Buddha, Nugs, Nuggets, and I’m sure there’s many many more so feel free to help out and list the others! =D