TheBongPlace: The Marijuana Blog

Floridians could vote for the first time next year to allow marijuana for medical use. A petition drive, started last week by an Orlando woman whose father has Parkinson’s disease, would make the drug legal for any condition as prescribed by a doctor.

Marijuana is the only drug Cathy Jordan says helps her fight Lou Gehrig’s disease. The 59-year-old mother smokes two joints every night to relieve depression and muscle spasms, and to boost her appetite.

“It’s keeping me alive,” said Jordan in an interview at her home in Parrish. “Anti-depressants made me a zombie and other drugs had bad side effects. The crime is that people like me can’t get it legally.”

Floridians could vote for the first time next year to allow marijuana for medical use. A petition drive, started last week by an Orlando woman whose father has Parkinson’s disease, would make the drug legal for any condition as prescribed by a doctor.

The last time such an organized effort to legalize marijuana occurred in Florida was 1997, just one year after California became the first state to legalize medical marijuana. But in Florida the petitioners fell hundreds of thousands of signatures short of getting to a state referendum.

This time the movement faces some of the same roadblocks, such as opposition from law enforcement and a lack of support by the majority of the medical community.

But the climate has become more favorable in ways that could shift the balance.

A dozen other states have approved medical marijuana since Florida last tried to get it on the ballot, and four state legislatures are currently considering proposals.

Federal law, while it has prohibited marijuana since 1937, is also shifting: Last month, Attorney General Eric Holder said the federal government would stop raiding marijuana distributors in states where it is legal.

And Florida’s proponents, People United For Medical Marijuana, hope they can make the argument that legalizing the drug could create tax revenue and jobs to lift the state economy. Kim Russell, the founder, suggested $200 million a year could be gained in tax revenue.

In every state where medical marijuana has been on the ballot it has been successful, with the exception of South Dakota, where it barely lost with 48 percent of the vote. The challenge in Florida will be slightly steeper because the state requires a 60 percent majority vote.

Getting the proposal on the ballot remains the biggest concern for proponents. The state political action group, People United for Medical Marijuana, needs to collect 676,811 signatures from registered voters in 10 months.

Jordan and her husband, Bob, collected signatures back in 1997 on Manatee Avenue and said it was “nearly impossible” to get even 25 a day, and that many people were scared to sign their names to a document linking them to marijuana.

Instead of relying on sick people or patient advocates to get the word out, Russell is focusing on college students and social networking Web sites such as Facebook — a tactic that could either help mobilize a statewide army or provide an easy target for opponents.

One of the main arguments against legalizing medical marijuana is that the effort is a veiled move to improve access to the drug for anyone who wants it. Bill Janes, director of Florida’s Office of Drug Control, and the Florida Sheriff’s Association have already come out against it.

“When we increase the availability of marijuana we increase the availability for young people,” Janes said. “What this petition doesn’t address is how the marijuana will be controlled. Will we just allow random growing of marijuana?”

More than 4,800 people, many of them college students, have joined the Facebook page in support of the petition, which the Florida Division of Elections recently approved, and Russell said hundreds of students at campuses around the state have agreed to pass petitions. The campaign manager is Joshua Giesegh, a 20-year-old who said he is taking the year off from University of Central Florida to focus on marijuana advocacy. He is also a proponent of legalizing the drug for recreational use.

“I used to be one of those people who believed all the lies about marijuana that you learn in D.A.R.E,” an antidrug program offered in schools, Giesegh said in a phone interview. “Then I watched my grandpa die of cancer. He wouldn’t eat anything. I don’t want anyone else to suffer like that.”

People United For Medical Marijuana is not affiliated with national or professional fundraising organizations, and Russell said raising money will be the biggest challenge. She estimates they need up to $5 million for advertising and administrative costs, declining to say how much has been raised so far.

In the drive for signatures, state government leaders could potentially pose a threat, as they have generally grown less tolerant of marijuana. Last year the Legislature voted to strengthen laws against illegal growers. Janes said the tax revenue estimates by the petitioners were overblown and assumed use of the drug would become widespread.

Florida’s petition leaves it to the Legislature to decide how to regulate distribution and sale of the drug. While California’s bare-bones law has led to what some critics say is overprescription of marijuana, more current laws, such as the one that recently passed in Michigan, have guidelines meant to ensure only the truly ill will be able to get it.

In California, marijuana is sold in private shops called dispensaries. In other states patients with prescriptions for marijuana are required to carry ID cards, and it is only allowed to be grown by the patient or a designated caregiver.

Medically speaking, studies have shown benefits from marijuana, particularly for glaucoma and tremors. It has also been shown to increase appetite and alleviate the nausea caused by cancer treatments.

But the major medical associations have stopped short of endorsing it. The American Medical Association in November reconfirmed its decade-old policy that more research was needed. But it did assign a task force to take a closer look.

Dr. Jameel Audeh, a Sarasota oncologist, said back in 1985 when he was in training, marijuana was one of the best ways to relieve nausea in cancer patients. But now there are legal drugs he said work as well, including a legalized pill containing a synthetic version of the ingredient found in marijuana, THC. The potential health problems caused by marijuana, such as lung damage, outweigh the need for it, Audeh said.

“For cancer patients, this would only be needed for a very narrow group, if anyone, and I’m not sure that justifies making it legal because of all the other problems it would cause,” Audeh said.

A terminally ill cancer patient in Sarasota, who asked not to be identified because he does not want to be targeted by police, believes marijuana has kept him alive two years longer than doctors expected. He does not grow it himself because of the risk of getting caught.

Instead he relies on gifts from friends or dealers who charge up to $100 a week. Mainly the drug helps with his mood and appetite, he said. The cancer started in his esophagus and spread to his lungs, stomach and liver. When smoking marijuana became painful because it made him cough, a friend made a vaporizer from a heat gun and a plastic bag.

“Cancer is a fight against appetite and keeping weight on,” he said in an interview at his home. “If you can keep the weight on you can stay alive longer.”

To anyone who thinks it should be illegal, he urges compassion. He is 61 and has two children. At just over 5-foot-10, he weighs only 145 pounds.

“It gives me a quality of life I wouldn’t have without it.”

- Article from the Herald Tribune.

New research out of Spain suggests that THC — the active ingredient in marijuana — appears to prompt the death of brain cancer cells.
The finding is based on work with mice designed to carry human cancer tumors, as well as from an analysis of THC’s impact on tumor cells extracted from two patients coping with a highly aggressive form of brain cancer.

Explaining that the introduction of THC into the brain triggers a cellular self-digestion process known as “autophagy,” study co-author Guillermo Velasco said his team has isolated the specific pathway by which this process unfolds, and noted that it appears “to kill cancer cells, while it does not affect normal cells.”

Velasco is with the department of biochemistry and molecular biology in the School of Biology at Complutense University in Madrid. The findings were published in the April issue of The Journal of Clinical Investigation.

The Spanish researchers focused on two patients suffering from “recurrent glioblastoma multiforme,” a fast-moving form of brain cancer. Both patients had been enrolled in a clinical trial designed to test THC’s potential as a cancer therapy.

Using electron microscopes to analyze brain tissue taken both before and after a 26- to 30-day THC treatment regimen, the researchers found that THC eliminated cancer cells while it left healthy cells intact.

The team also was able, in what it described as a “novel” discovery, to track the signaling route by which this process was activated.

These findings were replicated in work with mice, which had been “engineered” to carry three different types of human cancer tumor grafts.

“These results may help to design new cancer therapies based on the use of medicines containing the active principle of marijuana and/or in the activation of autophagy,” Velasco said.

Outside experts suggested that more research is needed before advocating marijuana as a medicinal intervention for brain cancer.

Dr. John S. Yu, co-director of the Comprehensive Brain Tumor Program in the Maxine Dunitz Neurosurgical Institute at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, said the findings were “not surprising.”

“There have been previous reports to this effect as well,” he said. “So this is yet another indication that THC has an anti-cancer effect, which means it’s certainly worth further study. But it does not suggest that one should jump at marijuana for a potential cure for cancer, and one should not urge anyone to start smoking pot right away as a means of curing their own cancer.”

But that’s exactly what many brain cancer patients have been doing, said Dr. Paul Graham Fisher, the Beirne Family director of Neuro-Oncology at Stanford University.

“In fact, 40 percent of brain tumor patients in the U.S. are already using alternative treatments, ranging from herbals to vitamins to marijuana,” he said. “But that actually points out a cautionary tale here, which is that many brain cancer patients are already rolling a joint to treat themselves, but we’re not really seeing brain tumors suddenly going away as a result, which we clearly would’ve noticed if it had that effect. So we need to be open-minded. But this suggests that the promise of THC might be a little over-hoped, and certainly requires further investigation before telling people to go out and roll a joint.”

How to create your very own light bulb vaporizer.

This is an advanced project, but if you’re a creative smoker, this could be fun for you. Mind you, the recreational smoking of marijuana is illegal. Use this how to at your own risk.

Step 1

First take your light bulb and wrap it snuggly in the t-shirt to avoid injury, just in case it breaks.

When Bayer introduced aspirin in 1899, cannabis was America’s number one painkiller. Until marijuana prohibition began in 1937, the US Pharmacopoeia listed cannabis as the primary medicine for over 100 diseases. Cannabis was such an effective analgesic that the American Medical Association (AMA) argued against prohibition on behalf of medical progress. Since the herb is extremely potent and essentially non-toxic, the AMA considered it a potential wonder drug.

Instead, the invention of aspirin gave birth to the modern pharmaceutical industry and Americans switched away from cannabis in the name of “progress.” But was it really progress? There can be no doubt that aspirin has a long history as the drug of choice for the self-treatment of migraines, arthritis, and other chronic pain. It is cheap and effective. But is it as safe as cannabis?

History:

Marijuana has been used for over 5,000 years.
No one has ever overdosed on marijuana.
Aspirin has been used for 108 years.
Approximately 500 people die every year by taking aspirin
The Law:

Marijuana is a Schedule 1 drug, meaning the US government believes it is extremely dangerous, highly addictive, and of no medical value.
Aspirin is available for pennies and can be purchased by children at any drug, grocery, or convenience store. Often they are just handed out free by people with no medical education.
Marijuana side effects and dangers:

The dangers of marijuana include possible respiratory problems caused by the deposition of burnt plant material on the lungs. This danger can be eliminated with alternate forms of consumption such as eating or vaporizing the medicine.
For two to four hours, marijuana causes short-term memory loss, a slight reduction in reaction time, and a reduction in cognitive ability. (It makes you stupid for a little while.)These conditions DO NOT persist after the herb wears off.

Hunger
Paranoia
Depression
Laughter
Introspection
Creative Impulse
Euphoria
Tiredness
Forgetfulness
Aspirin side effects and dangers:

When taken with alcohol, aspirin can cause stomach bleeding.
Reye Syndrome in children: fat begins to develop around the liver and other organs of the child, eventually putting severe pressure on the brain. Death is common within a few days.
People with hemophilia can die.
People with hyperthyroidism suffer elevated T4 levels.
Stomach problems include dyspepsia, heartburn, upset stomach, stomach ulcers with gross bleeding, and internal bleeding leading to anemia.
Dizziness, ringing in the ears, hearing loss, vertigo, vision disturbances, and headaches.
Heavy sweating
Irreversible liver damage
Inflamation and gradual destruction of the kidneys
Nausea and vomiting
Abdominal pain
Lethargy
Hyperthermia
Dyspepsia: a gnawing or burning stomach pain accompanied by bloating, heartburn, nausea, vomiting and burping.
Tachypnea: Abnormally fast breathing
Respiratory Alkalosis: a condition where the amount of carbon dioxide found in the blood drops to a level below normal range brought on by abnormally fast breathing.
Cerebral Edema: Water accumulates on the brain. Symptoms include headaches, decreased level of consciousness, loss of eyesight, hallucinations, psychotic behavior, memory loss and coma. If left untreated, it can lead to death.
Hallucinations, confusion, and seizure.
Prolonged bleeding after operations or post-trauma for up to 10 days after last aspirin.
Aspirin can interact with some other drugs, such as diabetes medication. Aspirin changes the way the body handles these drugs and can lead to a drug overdose and death.
If you think that cannabis is actually safer than aspirin, you are not alone. In October 2000, Dr. Leslie Iversen of the Oxford University Department of Pharmacology said the same thing.

In her book, ‘The Science of Marijuana,’ Dr. Iversen presents the scientific evidence that cannabis is, by-and-large, a safe drug. Dr. Iversen found cannabis had “an impressive record” when compared to tobacco, alcohol, or even aspirin.

“Tetrahydrocannabinol is a very safe drug,” she said. “Even such apparently innocuous medicines as aspirin and related steroidal anti-inflammatory compunds are not safe.”

So if safety is your concern, cannabis is clearly a much better choice than aspirin. If you eat it or vaporize it, it just might be the safest painkiller the world has ever known.

Author: Nunya

Oven 375 ° F

¼ ounce finely chopped “herbs”
1 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
2 ½ cups rolled oats
½ tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 12-ounce bag chocolate chips (semi-sweet)

1. Prepare “bud butter” using the following method: (This is the most important step in the recipe)
Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add butter and herbs. Reduce to a simmer (or low boil) and cook,
stirring lots, for about five to six hours (the longer the better). Refrigerate overnight. Remove hardened
disk of butter and discard ugly brown water.

2. Combine flour, rolled oats, salt, baking powder and baking soda in a large mixing bowl. Mix together
herbal butter, white and brown sugar, eggs and vanilla. Blend moist and dry ingredients together. Add
chocolate chips.

3. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto an un-greased cookie sheet. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 7
to 8 minutes. Carefully transfer cookies from pan and allow to cool. Makes about 60 cookies.

Enjoy! =]

On-going medical marijuana busts through-out Mendocino County have been arresting local residents daily. I was one of five busts made and charged with two felonies (cultivation and intent to sell/distribute) last Friday, February 20, 2009, even though I had my doctor recommendation and was growing with the guidelines published at the Mendocino county web site.
My name is Laurel Krause. Last Friday (2/20/09) as I looked out my kitchen window I was shocked to see 25 Mendocino County Sheriffs/Deputies coming through my gate very quickly. The lead man, Sheriff (don’t know deputy, or what class) Jonathan Martin, showed me a search warrant, hand cuffed me and read me my rights. I was cooperative (I actually cried and begged for mercy, but that didn’t work) as they searched my home, my grow area on my five acres (behind my locked gate–so no probable cause) and seized all grow equipment related to 24 medical marijuana plants in full bloom. They chopped down the plants and hauled them away as I was being grilled and bullied in my home. This number is significant because if you google the Mendocino County Sheriff’s web page on MedMari guidelines it says 25 plants. You are probably aware of the ‘fuzziness’ of these guidelines. I have a recommendation from my doctor to allow me to grow med marijuana. They charged me with two felony counts, one for marijuana cultivation and another for intent to sell/distribute, carted me to Ukiah, CA to jail in handcuffs.

It gets worse. I was the #4 bust of 5 that day (Friday, Feb 20) and the guys let us know that they had five more for Saturday (yesterday) and five more on Sunday (TODAY!). Not individuals, but actual grows that might arrest multiple people. And most of the growers are women with kids (so now the children are possibly being taken away and bank accounts frozen). Real emotional and economic despair.

As I met others that were arrested in Ukiah, the county seat to jail (never before, first offense for everything for me) I learned they were my neighbors and not one had a ‘commercial’ size grow. So this Mendocino County Sheriff’s dept sweep is coming up short as the take is not producing the kind of busts they claim they are after (i.e commercial, 500 plants & up), unenvironmental grows that scar the land (we all grow organic), we all have our recommendations that we paid for and actually care about the quality of medicine we are growing (it’s in the past for me now).

I am in shock, but then I started getting mad yesterday. What is motivating this gestapo situation all of the sudden? DA Meredith Lintott or Sheriff Allman? NeoCons?

I keep to myself mostly so did not hear about this happening all over the county of Mendocino. Furthermore, most growers don’t let others know their business so as not to get busted. I’m coming forth as I have nothing to loose and I’m not backing down. I am a little afraid that if this doesn’t become a big story that I might be unsafe though……….so bust this story wide open. Help us in Mendo!!!

Since getting busted, I’ve learned that they were up and down my street (just outside Fort Bragg city limit, so in Mendocino County) busting and getting this sweep in order over the last month and logging on the computer even (wish I had known!). That they have also had busting sweeps in the towns of Covelo, Ukiah, Willits…….all within Mendocino county.

I’m sure you’re asking what is motivating me to come to you. This is truly an American story of our time right now, a devestating economic massacre for us personally and it has county-wide ramifications as at least 70% of the Mendocino economy is based on growing marijuana. Maybe even California as it’s the state’s largest crop. During these times of extreme economic hardship and 10% unemployment in Ft. Bragg, it just doesn’t make any sense to be busting and criminalizing tax-paying citizens, my neighbors and me operating within state and county guidelines.

We are considering moving forward with a class-action suit. I have calls out.

I am sounding this alarms as far and wide as I can. Please feel free to forward this to any of your interested colleagues. I hope to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Laurel Krause

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano will announce legislation on Monday to legalize marijuana and earn perhaps $1 billion annually by taxing it.

Quintin Mecke, Ammiano’s press secretary, confirmed to SF Weekly that the assemblyman’s 10 a.m. Monday press conference regarding “new legislation related to the state’s fiscal crisis” will broach the subject of reaping untold — and much-needed — wealth from the state’s No. 1 cash crop.

Mecke said Ammiano’s proposed bill “would remove all penalties in California law on cultivation, transportation, sale, purchase, possession, or use of marijuana, natural THC, or paraphernalia for persons over the age of 21.”

The bill would additionally prohibit state and local law officials from enforcing federal marijuana laws. As for Step Two — profit — Ammiano’s bill calls for “establishing a fee on the sale of marijuana at a rate of $50 per ounce.” Mecke said that would bring in roughly $1 billion for the state, according to estimates made by marijuana advocacy organizations.

article by Joe Eskenazi

Cannabis is a safer drug than aspirin and can be used long-term without serious side effects, says a book by a leading Oxford scientist.

The Science of Marijuana, by Dr Leslie Iversen of Oxford University’s department of pharmacology, found many “myths” surrounding marijuana use, such as extreme addictiveness, or links with mental illness or infertility are not supported by science.

He also found cannabis is an inherently “safe drug” which does not lead to cancer, infertility, brain damage or mental illness. Legalisation of the drug for medical conditions should be considered, he says.

Dr Iversen’s findings will increase pressure on the Government to reopen the debate about the decriminalisation of marijuana.

The author, a fellow of the prestigious Royal Society, found cannabis was far less toxic than other drugs and had “an impressive record” compared with heroin, cocaine or tobacco and alcohol.

His study showed that the active element of cannabis, tetrahydrocannabinol ( THC ), which made users high, had a lot of potential as a safe drug to treat Aids patients and people suffering severe pain.

He also found “stoned” drivers were less dangerous and able to co-ordinate than people who were drunk. “By any standards, THC must be considered a very safe drug both acutely and on long-term exposure,” he writes. “The available animal data are more than adequate to justify its approval as a human medicine, and indeed it has been approved by the FDA [American drug authority] for certain limited therapeutic indications.”

The book says “alarming claims about the harmful effects of long-term exposure to cannabis” should be “put to rest”, and there “is no evidence the drug causes any impairment in fertility or sexual function in men or women”. He says people who stop using cannabis do not suffer long-term side-effects.

“Cannabis does not cause structural damage to the brains of animals as some reports had claimed, nor is there evidence of long-term damage to the human brain or other than slight residual impairments in cognitive function after drug use is stopped.” The author says many adverse effects of cannabis are related to smoking the drug.

But cannabis itself did not appear to cause cancer. Compared with alcohol and cigarettes, which led to more than 100,000 deaths a year, cannabis had a far better record.

“Tetrahydrocannabinol is a very safe drug,” he said. “Despite the widespread illicit use of cannabis here are very few if any instances of people dying from an overdose. Even such apparently innocuous medicines as aspirin and related steroidal anti-inflammatory compounds are not safe.

“Thousands of people die every year because of the tendency of these drugs to cause catastrophic gastric bleeding.”

via wise perception

AP) — A tiny southwest Missouri hamlet has passed an ordinance allowing residents with a doctor’s approval to grow and possess marijuana for medicinal use. The mayor of Cliff Village says the law is aimed at showing grassroots support for a measure that has repeatedly failed in the state legislature. From the Kansas City Star:

Cliff Village is no college town. It’s barely a town at all. It has no employees and levies no taxes. It gets about $1,300 a year in distributions of state fuel taxes for road repairs and $120 to $200 more in cable TV franchise fees. The 30-year-old mayor, Joe Blundell, said the law came from his own frustration with pharmaceutical painkillers to deal with the aftermath of a train accident that left him in a wheelchair. “When I got introduced to this flower, it not only alleviated my pain, it got me out gardening,” Blundell said. “I’m not just stoning myself out. It allowed me to function.”

The Cliff Village ordinance passed by a 3-2 vote. - KSPR News

When ZUG recently asked me to be a student intern for the summer, I asked all the usual questions. Was it a paid internship? (No.) Would I get course credit? (No.) Could I list it on a resume? (Probably not.)

But when they told me they needed a “Student Stoner Intern” to review the high-tech smoking device called the Volcano Vaporizer, I jumped at the chance. If you haven’t heard of the Volcano, this is a state-of-the-art, precision-engineered German smoking machine. It normally costs $539, which is about $519 more than I paid for my last bong. In exchange for a few articles, I’d get to try it for free.

But there was a catch: since this is a comedy site, I would have to smoke weird foreign substances through the Volcano. No problem. Like everyone, I tried smoking catnip in high school. I also smoked a page from a Victoria’s Secret catalog, on a bet. Once, when I ran out of rolling papers, I even smoked burning toilet paper. I have more foreign substances in my lungs than a traffic cop in downtown Bangalore.

As an English major at Harvard, this assignment gave me the chance to combine the two things I like doing most: writing, and getting mind-numbingly high.

The Volcano Vaporizer arrived at my Cambridge apartment, packed discreetly in this cardboard box. The vaporizer itself is legal to own, so I wasn’t worried about holding it at my place. Besides, when I opened it, I was blown away (so to speak) by the sheer beauty of the device. German-engineered by Storz & Bickel, who I think also were Hitler’s law firm, this is a high-tech appliance that would be at home between your Sub-Zero fridge and Viking range. You could leave it in the kitchen and tell everyone it was a blender. Which, in a sense, it is.

I needed someone to help take pictures, so I enlisted the help of a relative we’ll just call “Creepy Uncle Rick.” Rick is, let’s say, an arborist. He brought over some rare specimens of his work, as well as a 5-pound box of Cheez-Its.

Opening the Volcano box, we found that some assembly was required. There are over a dozen pieces that need to be put together, so this part is best done sober. It was a little like putting together a bong from Ikea.

After a few minutes, our Volcano Vaporizer was ready to go. “This thing looks like Sputnik,” Creepy Uncle Rick observed.

“Get ready to go to outer space,” I said, plugging it in.

How to use the Volcano Vaporizer:

* Plug in the device. A red light turns on, indicating the heating coil is warming up.

* Grind your plant material using the high-quality German herb grinder that is included. (The grinder alone is worth the purchase price.)

* Fill the chamber with a small scoop of material and place on base unit.

* Fit the large plastic bag onto the chamber, which clicks in place.

* The Volcano heats the material to a temperature just shy of burning. This vaporizes the active ingredients out of the material, like cooking onions on a stove.

* Now press the green button, and a small fan blows the vapors into the bag, which inflates like a balloon, or possibly a giant inflatable penis.

* When the bag is full, remove it and snap on the mouthpiece.

* Push the mouthpiece to your lips to unlock the sweet, heavenly vapors.

We found that a little material went a long way: one “scoop” was enough for several balloonfuls. Though, to be honest, we kind of lost count after the third.

What amazed me, besides the fantastically detailed ridges on the side of my Cheez-It, which I ended up writing a poem about, was the way the mouthpiece was engineered. Vapors stay in the bag until you press it to your lips. You’ve got to experience this to appreciate how amazing it is. You’d think the vapors would dissipate after a few minutes, but those crafty Germans have figured out how to store it.

he instructions say you should use the vapors within five minutes, but we found that the vapors stayed active for, well, I don’t know how long. It could have been an hour, or it could have been five years. I had a watch, but it went all Salvador Dali whenever I looked at it.

I looked over and saw he was laughing at a Robot Chicken clip on YouTube, not my brilliant wordplay. Undaunted, I continued taking notes.

SS: How would you rate the smoothness of the Volcano, on a scale of 1 to 10?
CUR: Are you kidding? It couldn’t be smoother, or it would be like inhaling milk.
SS: Right? It would be like sitting in a sauna, with someone ladling half and half on the hot coals.
CUR: Smoother.
SS: [cracking up] Smoother still?
CUR: Yes. It is not smoke, it is pure heavy cream.

Needless to say, our first 14 impressions of the Volcano Vaporizer were extremely favorable. This was an ultramodern appliance featuring cutting-edge toke-nology. If these guys made a food processor, or coffeemaker, I’d buy it. I actually suggested to ZUG they sell a combo called the “Coffee-Pot”:

Unfortunately, we were about to ruin our smoking experience by testing out the Volcano on a variety of awful substances. Stay tuned for the results.

Sir Smokealot, the ZUG student stoner intern, is a second-year English major at Harvard University.